Fings Ain't Wot They Used T' Be

They've changed our local palais into a bowling alley and Fings ain't wot they used to be There's teds wiv drainpipe trousers and debs in coffee houses And fings ain't wot they used to be There used to be trams Not very quick got you from place to place But now there's just jams, half a mile thick Stay in the human race, I'm walking They've stuck parking meters outside our door to greet us No, fings ain't wot they used to be Monkeys flying around the moon We'll be up there wiv 'em soon Fings ain't wot they used to be Once our beer was froffy, but now its froffy coffee No fings ain't wot they used to be It used to be fun Dad and old Mum paddling down Southend But now it ain't done Never mind chum Paris is where we spend our outings Grandma tries to shock us all Doing knees-up rock 'n' roll Fings ain't wot they used to be We used to have stars Singers who sung A Dixie Melody They're buying guitars Plinkety plunk, backing themselves with three chords only Once we danced from 12 to three I've got news for Elvis P Fings ain't wot they used to be Did the lot we us to Fings ain't wot they used to be