Shiksa Goddess

I'm breaking my mother's heart

The longer I stand looking at you

The more I hear it splinter and crack

From 90 miles away

I'm breaking my mother's heart

The JCC of Spring Valley is shaking

And crumbling to the ground

And my grandfather's rolling, rolling in his grave

If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter

If you had a shaved head, that would be cool

If you came from Spain or Japan or the back of a van

Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school

I'd say now I'm getting somewhere

I'm finally breaking through

I'd say, "Hey, hey Shiksa goddess

I've been waiting for someone like you"

I have been wading through Danica Schwartz and Erica Weiss

And the Handelman twins

I've been wading through Heather Greenblatt

Annie Mincus, Karen Pincus, and Lisa Katz

And Stacy Rosen, Ellen Kaplan, Julie Silber, and Janie Stein

I've had Shabbos dinners on Friday nights

With every Shapiro in Washington Heights

But the minute I first met you

I could barely catch my breath

I've been standing for days with a phone in my hand

Like an idiot scared to death

I've been wandering through the desert

I've been beaten, I've been hit

My people have suffered for thousands of years

And I don't give a shit

If you had a pierced tongue, that wouldn't matter

If you once were in jail, or you once were a man

If your mother and your brother had relations with each other

And your father was connected to the Gotti clan

I'd say, "Well, nobody's perfect"

It's tragic, but it's true

I'd say, "Hey, hey Shiksa goddess

I've been waiting for someone like you"

Breaking the circle

You, taking the light

You, you are the story I should write

I have to write

If you drove an RV, that wouldn't matter

If you like to drink blood, I think it's cute

If you've got a powerful connection to your firearm collection

I'd say, "Draw a bead and shoot"

I'm your Hebrew slave at your service

Just tell me what to do

I'd say, "Hey, hey, hey, hey

I've been waiting for someone, I've been praying for someone

I think that I could be in love with someone

Like you"