It Serves You Right

Ever since the days of old the navy's ruled the waves

For years they've told the world that Britons never shall be slaves

The navy still remembers and you'll often hear them say

What Nelson told Napoleon upon Trafalgar Day

It serves you right, you shouldn't have joined

It jolly well serves you right

It serves you right, you shouldn't have joined

You might have been sitting tight

You might have been in civvy street instead of in the fight

But it serves you right, you shouldn't have joined

It jolly well serves you right

And it's no use kicking up a row

Because you're nobody's sweetheart now

You can weep and sigh and pipe your eye

But still you're in the fight

It serves you right, you shouldn't have joined

It jolly well serves you right

I wouldn't mind the navy if the blinking ship were still

It's all this bobbing up and down that makes me feel so ill

The sea's alright for sharks and whales and things the like of that

But I'd rather stick my marlin spike in Ilkley Mowbray Tat

But it serves me right, I shouldn't have joined

It jolly well serves me right

It serves me right, I shouldn't have joined

I might have been sitting tight

When I was cleaning windows I would keep them nice and bright

But now I'm polishing portholes rubbing them up with all my might

And it's no use kicking up a row

Because I'm nobody's sweetheart now

One day up in the crow's nest I was feeling bright and gay

Till the captain shouted "Don't come down, we're taking the ship away"

I was to be a chimney sweep in dear old Wigan town

I used to do the ladies down the street for half a crown

But now I don't get nothing for the little jobs I do

I wish I was in Wigan sweeping Mrs. Jones' flue

But it serves me right, I shouldn't have joined

It jolly well serves me right

It serves me right, I shouldn't have joined

I might have been sitting tight

I thought in every port I'd get a cuddle every night

But all I've done is cuddle a gun and work up an appetite

And it's no use kicking up a row

Because I'm nobody's sweetheart now

There's a draft around me fore and aft

My jumper's much too tight

I've got barnacles on my barnacle

And it ruddy well serves me right