Poor Unfortunate Souls

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch

But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch, true? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a quality I always have possessed

And dear lady, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls in pain, in need

This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl

And do I help them? Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls, so sad, so true

They come flocking to my cauldron, crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"

And I help them, yes, I do

Now it's happened once or twice, someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint, but on the whole I've been a saint

For those poor unfortunate souls

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

Yes, on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word

And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation

True gentlemen avoid it if they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn

It is she who holds her tongue who gets a man

Come on, you poor unfortunate souls, go ahead, make your choice

I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day

It won't cost much, just your voice

You poor unfortunate soul, it's sad but true

If you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got the pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll

Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys, the boss is on a roll

For this poor unfortunate soul