Where Can You Take a Girl?

Where can you, if you're a man

Take a girl, if she's a girl

That you can't, can't ever take home for a little drink?

Like other guys who live alone can do

That is the reason why

Most married men are true

Aside from hotels

Where can you, on Tuesday night

Take a girl who's out of sight

That you can't, can't ever take home for a little fun?

Chase her around the room until you win

That is the reason why

Most single men stay thin

Aside from motels

Where can you, if you're alone

Take a girl who's on her own

That you can't, can't ever take home on your one night out?

One night to be a man and not a mouse

Most married men play cards

Most single men play house

We'd like to play house, too

All we need is one place

A small apartment

A truck or trailer

Old or new

Oh, there must be some place

A baby carriage

A kiddie car will do

We aren't proud

Where can you take a girl

That you just can't take home?

Where can you, if you are free

Take a girl you'd like to see

That you can't, can't ever take home on a weekday night?

Put on some records and then go beserk

Most single men we know

Work hardest after work

Aside from rowboats

Where can you, a man that's true

Take a girl who gets to you

That you can't, can't ever take home for a little whirl?

Dance her around so fast she starts to shout

Most married men play cards

Most single men make out

We'd like to make out too

All we need is one place

For sixty minutes

Or forty minutes

More or less

Oh, there must be some place

In twenty minutes

We'll find happiness

We can be fast

In fact, we always are

Aside from rooftops

Where can you, if you are free

Take a girl you'd like to see

That you can't, can't ever take home?

What's there left to do?

But to go home to our wives?