Operation: Desert Storm

The land is burning and dry under hot desert skies

My gut is churning, but you won't see fear in my eyes

Nothing to lose as I climb in and look to the roads

Then light the fuse to the cannon, which promptly explodes

The blast sends me skyward and into free fall

With one final thought as I head towards the wall

I'll get that Road Runner if it's the last thing I do

If Murphy's Laws are religion, I must be a saint

What else explains semis bursting from tunnels I paint?

A thousand Rube Goldberg nightmares lie smashed in my garage

How many falling pianos can that damn bird dodge?

From magnetic birdseed to dynamite darts

I could buy General Mills with what I spend on parts

But I'll get that Road Runner if it's the last thing I do

I should forget it, he's not big enough for a stew

My line of credit with ACME is ten years past due

Got no insurance, I can't sign the claims with my paws

In vile durance for breaking most EPA laws

But my super genius will deal with that dunce

Remember that I have to win only once

And I'll get him someday, perhaps I should try something new

My canyon compactor was perfect to echo my screams

My backpack reactor worked fine until I crossed the beams

My bomb extender snapped back with the lit TNT

My flying blender was just a tad quicker than me

But I'm smarter, I'm stronger, and he's merely fast

Let's hear him "beep beep" with his head up his ass

And I'll get that Road Runner if it's the last thing I do

Eureka, that's it!

Earthquake pills!