I'll Never Be Jealous Again

Hinesy, Hinesy. 

I've learned my lesson. I'll never be jealous again. 

You stick to that now. 

Absolutely. 

That's easier said than done

I can do it

I knew it

But let's take an example, just for fun

Picture this

You're waiting three hours for her to come home from a date

There I am

I'm waiting three hours for her to come home from a date

Here she comes

Her lipstick is smeared and she can't seem to walk very straight

Here she comes

Her lipstick is smeared and she can't seem to walk very straight

Then she drops

A bottle of rye and not batting an eye

Says a train wreck made her late

(spoken)

Well, Hinesy, what would you do then?

Mm, I would trust her

I would trust her

By George, I swear I would trust her

No, I'll never be jealous again

Nice work, Hinesy. 

Oh, I know what I'm doing, Mabel. I know what I'm doing. 

Now let's take another example. 

Sure, Mabel. 

Picture this

You've nothing to do so you drop in to chat for awhile

There I am

With nothing to do so I drop in to chat for awhile

Something's up

The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

Something's up

The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

There you see

A hat and a tie and pair of socks in a nice neat little pile

(spoken)

Well, Hinesy?

Mm, I would trust her

I would trust her

By George, I swear I would trust her

No, I'll never be jealous

I'll never never never never

Never never never never

Never be jealous again

That's the stuff, Hinesy. You're practically cured!

There will be no more nightmares to sleep through

No more keyholes to peep through

No more bushes to creep through

That's my plan

Well, now that you're a new man

Picture this

You go to your sweetie's apartment, you borrow the keys

There I am

I go to my sweetie's apartment, I borrow the keys

There she is

She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

There she is

She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

Then, to boot

She tells you she was in the arms of a cousin

Who's back from overseas

A cousin back from overseas? Do you expect me to bel—

Hinesy...

I would trust her

I would trust her

By George, I swear I would trust her

No, I'll never be jealous

I'll never never never never

Never never never never

Never never never never

Never never never

Never be jealous again

Good!