Lyrics
We'll always be bosom buddies
Friends, sisters, and pals
We'll always be bosom buddies
If life should reject you
There's me to protect you
If I say that your tongue is vicious-
If I call you uncouth-
It's simply that
Who else but a bosom buddy
Will sit down and tell you the truth?
Though now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting-
Though often my frank observation might scald
I've been meaning to tell you for years
You should keep your hair natural like mine
If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald
(sung)
But darling
We'll always be dear companions
My crony
My mate
We'll always be harmonizing
Orphan Annie and Sandy
Like Amos and Andy
If I say that your sense of style's
As far as off as your youth;
It's simply that
Who else but a bosom buddy
Will tell you the whole stinking truth?
Each time that a critic has written
"Your voice is the voice of a frog!"
Straight to your side to defend you I rush
You know that I'm there ev'ry time that the world makes an unkind remark
When they say "Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush!"
(sung)
It hurts me!
And if I say your fangs are showing
Mame, pull in your claws
It's simply that
Who else but a bosom buddy
Will notice the obvious flaws!
I feel it's my duty to tell you it's time to adjust to your age; you try to be "Peg O' My Heart", when you're "Lady Macbeth."
Exactly how old are you, Vera? The truth!
How old do you think?
I'd say somewhere in between forty and the death!
But sweetie
I'll always be Alice Toklas
If you'll be Gertrude Stein
And though I'll admit I've dished you
I've gossiped and gloated
But I'm so devoted
And if I say that sex and guts
Made you into a star
It's simply that
Who else but a bosom buddy
Will tell you how rotten you are?
Just turn your bosom buddy
For aid and affection
For help and direction
For loyalty, love, and forsooth
Remember that who else but a bosom buddy
Will sit down and level
And give you the devil
Will sit down and tell you the truth?
Written by: Jerry Herman
