I Looked Up

I remember that long, cold night, how dark it was

Heart broke, blinds closed, didn't even wanna see the sun

Like a refugee with nowhere to run

Lies in my mind held me hostage like a loaded gun

Telling me I had no one, was no one

God, I was too prideful to pick up that phone

3 a.m., I knew I needed help

But man, I didn't want anyone else to know I was losing it

Somewhere between the deepest hell and lowest low

I heard a voice from overhead saying, "Son, don't you dare let go"

I looked up

I looked up

From the bottom, and I saw You

It was all You

I looked up

I looked up

From the bottom, and I saw You

It was all You

I was at my lowest that night on August 6th

Trying to wrestle with all the pain and hell I was dealing with

Punching holes, throwing blows, pitching fits, trying not to drown

Wasn't feeling like I was good enough

I knew I just couldn't ever keep this up

Started sinking underneath from all this endless overthinking

How could I forget? I can't forget spending forty days in the wilderness

Feeling like I messed up too bad, so bad I'd never get out of it

Ain't it funny how heaven comes in the least expected ways?

My roommate in rehab looked over at me and said, "It's gonna be okay," then

I looked up

I looked up

From the bottom, and I saw You

It was all You

I looked up

I looked up, yeah

From the bottom, and I saw You

It was all You

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, it was all You

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, it was all You

Sunday morning, I just kept circling the Church

My heart was beating out of my chest

Couldn't make a sound or even say a word

Tried to pick up my phone, call my wife and tell her how I feel

But my hands were heavy as two stones

Ten and two, stuck on the steering wheel

How do you worship when your soul ain't got a song to sing?

It's hard to remember when your heart forgets the melody

Jesus, when all I had was Your name on my lips

That's when I sent an SOS to heaven

And heaven broke in to come and rescue me

I looked up

Oh, Lord

I looked up, yeah

From the bottom, and I saw You

Yeah, it was all You

I looked up

I would never win

I looked up, oh

From the bottom, and I saw You

Yeah, it was all You

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, it was all You

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, it was all You

Sometimes I gotta look back at the man I was

To remember just how far You brought me, how far I've come

All those little victories won

I'm so glad You always see the best in me

You always knew the man that I could be

From the moment I got down on my knees

I looked up

Oh

Mmm, oh, mmm