I Know It's Today

Settle in, girls, it's story time!

There's a princess in a tower, oh my gosh, that's just like me

Poor Rapunzel, needs a haircut

But the witch won't set her free

She passes time by singing, like someone else I know

As years go by she sits and waits, as years go by, uh-oh

A torturous existence, I don't remember this part

She wishes she were dead, skip ahead, skip ahead

But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire

The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair

So I know he'll appear, 'cause there are rules and there are strictures

I believe the storybooks I read, by candlelight

My white knight, and his steed, will look just like these pictures

It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number twenty three

I know it's today, I know it's today

Oh, here's a good one, it's a classic

There's a princess in a coma, glad it's her instead of me

Pretty maiden in a glass box, how I wonder does she pee?

Blah blah blah blah, poison apple

Boring boring evil queen

Filler filler, been there, read that

Seven shorties on the scene

Skip ahead, skip ahead, but in the end the princess wakes up with a start

The prince is good at kissing and melting Snow White's heart

So I know he'll appear, and his armor will be blinding

As shining as his perfect teeth

And manly hose

He'll propose on one knee

And our prenup will be binding

About time we set a wedding date

Day number nine hundred and fifty eight

I know it's today, he'll show up today

There's a princess, any princess

Take your pick, they're all like me

Not exactly, I'm still waiting

They're out living happily

Ever after better get here, I want love in seconds flat

No one needs these middle bits, whoops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping, cut this fairy tale

Cut the peril and pitfalls, cut the puppet in the whale

Cut the monsters, cut the curses, keep the intro, cut the verses

And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting!

But I know he'll appear, though I seem a bit bipolar

And I'm a vandal now as well, hope he won't mind

I'm a find, I'm a catch

And a very gifted bowler

It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number, are you there God? It's me, Fiona

It's me, Fiona

Now I know he'll appear, 'cause there are rules and there are strictures

I believe the storybooks I read, by candlelight

My white knight, my knight and his steed

Will look just like his pictures, it won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number twenty three, day number nine fifty eight

Day number eight thousand four hundred and twenty three

I know it's today, I know it's today

I know it's today, I know it's today, I know it's today

I know it's today, i know it's today, I know it's today