Prologos - Invocation and Instructions to the Audience (From "The Frogs")

Gods of the theatre, smile on us

You who sit up there stern in judgment

Smile on us

You who look down on actors…

And who doesn't?

Bless this yearly festival and smile on us

We offer you song and dance

We offer you rites and revels

We offer you grace and beauty

Smile on us for this while

Gods of the theatre, smile on us

You who sit up there stern in judgment

Smile on us

We offer you song and dance

We offer you rites and revels

We offer you gods and heroes

We offer you jokes and insults

We offer you paeans and pageants

Bacchanals and social comment

Bless our play and smile

We offer you

Bacchanals and social comment

Bless our play and smile

Yes, but first…

Some dos and don'ts

Mostly don'ts:

Please don't cough

It tends to throw the actors off

Have some respect for Aristophanes

And please, don't cough

Don't say, "What?"

To every line you think you haven't got

And if you're in a snit

Because you've missed the plot

(Of which I must admit

There's not an awful lot)

Still, don't

Say--

What?

If you see flaws, please

Don't drop your jaws, please

No loud guffaws, please

When actors enter late

When there's a pause, please

Lots of applause, please

And we'd appreciate

You turning off your cell phones while we wait...

Unbelievable

Unbelievable

I think it's you

Hello? This really isn't a good time. I said, this really isn't-- can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?

Don't go "Oh!"

Each time you see an actor that you know

And if you have to use the lounge below

Don't wait until we're halfway through the show

Especially if you're sitting in the middle of a row

No smokes, no chow

Unwrap the candy wrappers now

When we are waxing humorous

Please don't wane

The jokes are obscure, but numerous

We'll explain

When we are waxing serious

Try not to laugh

It starts when we get imperious

And if you're in doubt, don't query us

We'll signal you when we're serious

It's in the second half

Do not intrude, please

When someone's nude, please

She's there for mood, please

And mustn't be embraced

If we are crude, please

Don't come unglued, please

Let's not be too strait-laced

The author's reputation wasn't based

On taste

So please, don't fart

There's very little air and this is art

And if you feel offended

Don't lose heart

That's what the man intended

He was smart

When everything's up-ended

We can all depart

And now...

But first--

We start