Not Because of You

Hold myself like nothing matters

I will not be drowned in shame

Tell my self I'm actually better

I'm not afraid of everything

And I notice how I'm breathing

One hand reaching for the wall

Just trying to go about my day but

At every corner I could fall

If I go one day without panic

If I can travel on my own

If I'm not lost inside my magic

If I'm not hiding in my room

If I am planning for a future

If finally my tears can flow

If I'm suddenly ecstatic

Well it's not because of you

There's not one thing that I'm sure of

same old worries once again

seems I'm living in the past when

I should have left you way back then

So I take the first train running

Get the hell right out of here

Another promise to my self and

Once again derailed by fear

If I go one day without panic

If I can travel on my own

If I'm not lost inside my magic

If I'm not hiding in my room

If I am planning for a future

If finally my tears can flow

If I'm suddenly ecstatic

Well it's not because of you

If you think I live a good life

Maybe find that I am kind

I dare you to meet my eyes in sadness

And see that I left you behind

If I hold my ground in anger

And still reaching for a truce

If you wonder how I do it

Well it's not because of you