Try Not To Be a C**t, It's Christmas

Christmas comes but once a year

And when it comes, it brings good cheer

A season of goodwill and fun

And yet while most of us feel festive

Grinches out there just get restive

And spoil it all for everyone

Though it's too much to expect you to be nice

You'll find that life is easier with this advice

Try not to be a cunt, it's Christmas

It's only for a day or two

The rest of us are doing our best to be jolly

So don't go looking like you swallowed a bunch of holly

Help with the washing up, and don't be a slob

Don't shout at elves, they're just doing their job

For fucks' sake, be merry

Have another sherry and try not to be a cunt

It's not 12th night yet

Try not to be a cunt

I'm still eating turkey

Try not to be a cunt

Just call me Rudolph

Try not to be a cunt

C-U-N-T

Cuntity, cuntity, cunt!

Good thing

You laughed? (Should I?)

You laughed? (Should I laugh?)

Laugh