Adelaide's Lament (From "Guys and Dolls")

It says here, the average unmarried female, basically insecure

Due to some long frustration, may react, react?

With psychosomatic symptoms, difficult to endure

Affecting the upper respiratory tract

In other words, just from waiting around

For that plain little band of gold

A person can develop a cold

You can spray her wherever you figure the streptococci lurk

You can give her a shot for whatever she's got

But it just won't work

If she's tired of getting the fisheye from the hotel clerk

A person can develop a cold

Oh, that's so crazy

Let me see, chapter twelve

The female remaining single, just in the legal sense

Shows an erratic tendency, see note

Where's the note?

Chronic organic syndromes, toxic or hyper-tense

Involving the eye, the ear, and the nose, and throat

Oh, that's very interesting

In other words, just from worrying whether the wedding is on or off

A person can develop a cough

You can feed her all day with the Vitamin A and the Bromo fizz

But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is

If she's getting a kind of a name for herself and the name ain't his

A person can develop a cough

And further more, just from stalling

And stalling and stalling the wedding trip

A person can develop la grippe

When they get on a train for Niagara

And she can hear church bells chime

The compartment is air conditioned and the mood sublime

They get off at Saratoga for the fourteenth time

Well, a person can develop la grippe

La grippe, la post nasal drip

With the wheezes and the sneezes

And the sinus that's really a pip

From a lack of community property

And a feeling she's getting too old

A person can develop a big, bad, a really bad cold