Argue Naked

Ladies and gentlemen

Please welcome back home to Texas from Blue Collar Comedy

Mr. Bill Engvall!

Thank you so much! Ah!

Oh, you stop

Thank you, Austin, Texas

Welcome to my garage

This is where I go to get away from the honey-do list

You know, I love my wife, but that honey-do thing is getting old

Here's the problem, honey don't wanna do 'em

Don't get me wrong, I'll do my part

I do my chores, but I like to do stuff with machines, you know?

Mow the yard, lawnmower, leaf blow, she wants me to dust

Could that be any more emasculating? No

And it's a pointless job

You wipe something down, the dust goes in the air

It settles on something else, make it fun

Let me put that rag on the end of a hand drill

I'll tell you what, I joke about it, but I'ma tell you something, man

Ah, she runs that house, good Lord, um, yeah, I know, I know, I know

And if you're a married guy, I ain't telling you nothing you don't already know

But if you're single and you're thinking about getting married, listen up

You ain't never gonna win the argument, yeah

If, if guys were a sports team, we'd be over

And that's why, ladies, all we got is this one word, "whatever"

And it don't make us win the argument, we just feel better 'bout losing

My wife hates that word, uh, I'll start, we start arguing and I'll go, "Whatever"

She's like, "No, not whatever", I go, "Yeah, you're gonna win, whatever"

I told my friend, I just said, "I'm so tired of losing the argument"

And he goes, "Well, next time she wants to argue

Tell her you wanna argue naked"

Why would I do that?

He goes, "Well, think about it

She's naked, you're naked"

Argument's over

I'm like, "I'm all for that"

Yeah

So about two weeks ago, she starts getting on me 'bout something

I said, "Hang on, sister," I said, "We're gonna argue, let's do it naked"

She goes, "Fine," she strips down naked, I get naked, and I'm like, "Hey

How you doing?"

She's like, "No, not how you doing, you wanna argue naked

Come on, let's argue naked"

I end up walking away naked, whatever