Gee, Officer Krupke

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke, ya gotta understand

It's just our bringin' upke that gets us outta hand

Our mothers all are junkies, our fathers all are drunks

Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset

We never had the love that every child oughta get

We ain't no delinquents, we're misunderstood

Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good!

There is good, there is good

There is untapped good

Like inside, the worst of us is good

That's a touchin' good story

Lemme tell it to the world

Just tell it to the Judge

Dear kindly judge, your Honor, my parents treat me rough

With all their marijuana, they won't give me a puff

They didn't want to have me but somehow I was had

Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad

Right, Officer Krupke, you're really a square

This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!

It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed

He's psychologically disturbed

I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed, we're disturbed

We're the most disturbed

Like we're psychologically disturbed

Hear ye, hear ye!

In the opinion of this court

This child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home

Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

So take him to a headshrinker

You! (Who me?)

My Daddy beats my Mommy, my Mommy clobbers me

My Grandpa is a Commie, my Grandma pushes tea

My sister wears a mustache, my brother wears a dress

Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

Yes, Officer Krupke, he shouldn't be here

This boy don't need a couch, he needs a useful career

Society's played him a terrible trick

And sociologically he's sick!

I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick

We are sick, sick, sick

Like we're sociologically sick!

In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all

Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease

(Hey, I got a social disease!)

So take him to the social worker

Dear kindly social worker, they tell me get a job

Like be a soda-jerker, which means I'd be a slob

It's not I'm antisocial, I'm only anti-work

Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk!

Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again

This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen

It ain't just a question of misunderstood

Deep down inside him, he's no good!

I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good

We're no earthly good

Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is he's lazy, the trouble is he drinks

The trouble is he's crazy, the trouble is he stinks

The trouble is he's growing, the trouble is he's grown!

Krupke, we've got troubles of our own

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're down on our knees

'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease

Gee, Officer Krupke, what are we to do?

Gee, Officer Krupke

Krup you!