They Hate Me

They hate me, they hate me

Followed home 'til my hand shakes and I can't find the lock

They smell naivety

Every night there's a car outside with the headlights on

They eat me and puke me

Hiding out in my house underneath the Christmas tree

They make themselves useful

On the treadmill, dynamo, making my electric free

Undredge my ship, break the barnacles off me

We'll start an insurgency in Surrey

She lives in a house made out of brie

If I bring wine we’ll live happily

My car paint is flaky

Followed home by the trail of flakes left lying on the road

They heal me with Reiki

Back rub and a nice cup ‘til I take off my load

She's jeering and shearing

With the clippers on the street shaving off my body hair

The crowds, they are cheering

Thinking it's punishment but, you know, I don't really care

Undredge my ship, break the barnacles off me

We'll start an insurgency in Surrey

She lives in a house made out of brie

If I bring wine we’ll live happily

We could fish by the Baltic Sea (Happily, happily, happily, happily)

I ran away from a sandy flea (Happily, happily, happily, happily)

Doctor's note came in the mail (Happily, happily, happily, happily)

Said my mind turned the flea into a whale (Happily, happily, happily, happily)