My Van

Like clothes on the line I'm three sheets to the wind

But stay tighter than the strings on a violin

Me I'm as dirty as they come but still spic and span

I ride twenty-eight inches on my creepy black van

And you can catch me posted up down by the trailer park

I'm sellin' bootleg movies from noon to dark

But at nine o'clock it's time to close up shop

And find some unsuspectin' girlie who gonna blow my top

I like cruisin' by the gap and the old navy

I like scopin' out the milf's and the old ladies

Pullin' right up to the curb with my windows pitch black

Practice catch and then release I do my thing and then I throw 'em back

(My van) In my van they don't never see it comin'

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

(My van) In my van here's how we do

I got somethin' waitin' for you

(My van) In my van they don't never see it comin'

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

(My van) In my van here's how we do

I got somethin' waitin' for you

I never keep 'em very long because they tend to stink

And they'll be fuckin' up my camel skin zebra print seats

And I'm a motherfuckin' pimp so can't be crampin' my style

With some decomposin' stank ho wearin' a smile

I gotta keep my reputation I got clientel

I can't be pushin' Findin' Nemo with no funky ass smell

I keep my chevrolet polished and my shag rug vaccumed

And a sticker on the back glass says "shit happens"

And I'm cool as fan in my burt reynolds shades

But my futures pretty dim that's why I can't get laid

So I'm a get it how I get gotta get up in them britches

I'm a get it how I get I'm a take it from these bitches!

(My van) In my van they don't never see it comin'

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

(My van) In my van here's how we do

I got somethin' waitin' for you

(My van) In my van they don't never see it comin'

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

(My van) In my van here's how we do

I got somethin' waitin' for you

If the van be a rockin', then don't 'cha come a knockin'?

You might see me do the nasty face covered in a stockin'

Nothin' on but a tool belt and BVD's

A chick tied to a shelf full of DVD's

I got that old-school porn showin' in the headrest

Try chokin' out this honey but she ain't dead yet

I got her in the camel clutch, remote control stuck in her butt

She be switchin' scene selections everytime she bust a nut

You might say I'm kinda sick and you might call me a freak

Because I pull up to the intersection's grippin' my meat

But to all them freaky bitches, bitches, I be the man

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van!

(My van) In my van they don't never see it comin'

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

(My van) In my van here's how we do

I got somethin' waitin' for you

(My van) In my van they don't never see it comin'

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

(My van) In my van here's how we do

I got somethin' waitin' for you

For you (Aww yeah…)

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van

I got somethin' waitin' for you

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van

In my van here's how we do

In my van here's how we do

In my van here's how we do

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van

Rock hard lovin'

Stone cold killer slangin' rock hard lovin'

Rock hard lovin'

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van (Yeah!)

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van

Rock hard lovin'

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van

Rock hard lovin'

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van

Rock hard lovin'

Rock hard lovin'

I bet they never forget the time they had in my van