The Sadder But Wiser Girl

No sweet and pure angelic lass for me

That kinda gal can spin a web, you see

She trades on wholesome innocence galore

But it's my independence that she's tradin' for

The only affirmative she will file

Refers to marching down the aisle

No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no, sir

For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now

I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?

I spark, I fizz for the lady who knows what time it is

I cheer, I rave, for the virtue, I'm too late to save

The sadder but wiser girl for me

No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby

No, sir, that kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew

I prefer to take a chance

On a more adult romance

No dewy young miss who keeps resisting

All the time she keeps insisting

No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female

Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you'll see

I flinch, I shy when a lass with the delicate air goes by

I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in

I hope, and I pray for Hester to win just one more 'A'

The sadder but wiser girl for me

No giggling ice cream soda drinker

Out to hook you line and sinker

No honey throated beckoning siren

I plug my ears, and I grab my oars, and I flee

I cheer, I boo at the puritan hearted ingénue

I yearn, I long for the woman whose Pop says, "What went wrong?"

I root, and I clap for the dame in the gownless evening strap

The sadder but wiser girl's the girl for me

The sadder but wiser girl for me