My uncle George had a Great Dane who chewed a paw off in Connecticut

And when I walk into a room I'm not afraid to feel feminine

Well, I've never done heroin

I've never done much of that

And though I may appear likeable

I'm merely trying to remember I'm not on fire

Oh no, Mom, my collar bone again

My father took me mountain climbing

I've got a picture to show to you

My grandma lived in Florida and her front lawn hurt my bare feet

Well, I've never tried to kill a cricket

With a firecracker on the Fourth of July

I've never done pretty much anything that didn't have productive quality

What a goddamn liar!

Even though you taught me to love my body

Even though I'll never be Italian

I won't forget, people who act confident go far

I've got a brain in my head

It may not be your imagination

If you think I'm looking at you with contempt

I wish it could be different but occasionally I'm cruel

I get down

I can't help but think I've long buried a horrible childhood memory

And why do I keep on dreaming about the queen of 4th grade Cheryl Englehardt?

And what I lack in aphrodisia I think I make up for in appetite

I'm a young John Wayne

Even though you fuck me on your birthday

Even though I'm an advocate of hygiene

I won't forget, people who act confident go far

I've got a brain in my head

Even though you make my bed like Mom did

Even though I really don't know how to be a friend

I won't forget, people who act confident go far

I've got a brain in my head