You Don't Need A License For That

If you've a pub or a small hotel

You need a licence for all you sell

You may think I'm romancing

But they even tax you for singing and dancing

You need a licence whatever you do

One or two things they've exempted, it's true

Lumbago, the gout or a touch of the flu

You don't need a licence for that

Now I've got a licence for chickens to lay

One of them sat on a brick yesterday

And then started clucking as much as to say

You won't need a licence for that

We'd have a good time, a wines-in-the-wood time

If it were duty free

We'd cut the taxes with our battle axes

Then roll out the barrel for me

Dairies must licence, you bet on your life

If you keep a cow then there's trouble and strife

As Farmer Dean said when he looked at his wife

By gum, I'll not need a licence for that

You need a licence for shooting down game

But I'd rather flirt with a beautiful dame

Cos I get the sport with the birds just the same

And I don't need a licence for that

We sit in the pictures as warm as a glove

In the back row of the circle above

Two bobs worth of dark and a basin of love

And I don't need a licence for that

We'd have a good time, a wines-in-the-wood time

If it were duty free

We'd cut the taxes with our battle axes

Then roll out the barrel for me

Fishing at Richmond is licensed by law

A chap to his girl said, "Now you hold your jaw

You know exactly what I'm fishing for

And I don't need a licence for that, no sir

I don't need a licence for that"