Enemy of Beauty

We're lovely, we're perfect, we're youthful But ask to name our ages, you would never guess We are each 93, and we're sure you'll agree Father Time must have lost our address Most people think that we're models Policemen daily ask us why we're not at school That's 'cause our faces are a vision of perfection No troughs or wrinkles, oh, we're open to inspection We've got the secret of a fabulous complexion So to fight decay And keep old age at bay You must follow this golden rule Mobility's the enemy of beauty Our skin is stapled to our skulls with metal clips And our legs look much improved Since our kneecaps were removed And recycled in our artificial hips Oh, eating can be rather tricky One may not masticate with a frozen jaw So we're quite cock-a-hoop at a nice bowl of soup For we haven't eaten solids since the war All day, we're busy with procedures We're injected in our bottoms with fermented kelp Later, a special cryogenic siesta Then we sandblast our colons to fill us full of zest again Finally, we dress, but then it's time to get undressed again What a busy day We gently drift away With this simple mantra of self-help Mobility's the enemy of beauty In pursuit of endless youth, we will never flag Our surgeon uses bits Of Katie Price's tits To plump up only horrid bits that sag Mobility's the enemy of beauty Our vaginas have been tightened so they grip like hell And for extra satisfaction We can offer the attraction Of a hymen up our anuses as well Mobility's the enemy of beauty Of constant transformation, we're enormous fans We start as Cinderella And end as Donnatella But never never never You must be very clever No, never ever ever Show your hands