Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Mungojerrie

And Rumpelteazer

We're a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns

Quick-change comedians

Tightrope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation

We make our home in Victoria Grove

This is merely our center of operation

For we are incurable given to rove

We are very well known in Cardwell Garden

In Longston Place

And in Kensington Square

We have really a little more reputation

Than a couple of cats can very well bare

If the area window is found a job

And the basement looks like a field of war

If a tile or two comes loose off the roof

Which presently fails to be waterproof

If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chest

And you can't find one of your winter vests

If after supper, one of the girls

Suddenly misses her Woolworth pals

The family will say, it's that horrible cat

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Have a very unusual gift of the gab

We are highly efficient cat burglars as well

And remarkable smart at a smash and grab

We make our home in Victoria Grove

We have no regular occupation

We are plausible fellows who like to engage

A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner

With their minds made up that they won't get thinner

An Argentine joint

Potatoes and greens

And a cook will appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow

I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow

But the joint has come from the oven like that

The family will say, it's that horrible cat

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Have a wonderful way of working together

And some of the time, you would say it was luck

And some of the time, you would say it was weather

We go through the house like a hurricane

And no sober person can take his oath

Was it Mungojerrie

Or Rumpelteazer

Or could you have sworn that it might have been both

And when you hear a dining room smash

Or up from the pantry, there comes a loud crash

Or down from the library, there comes a loud ring

Or the laws that is commonly said to be mean

The family will say, now, which was which cat?

It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

And there's nothing at all to be done about that