What If?

What if I told you that I did it again That I accidentally cheated on you with your best friend What if I say he's so much better than you That I have to hold him prisoner the whole night through I didn't say I did, so don't think I would do But if I did do, then what would you do What if I told you that I lied from the start That I don't actually have a master in modern art What if I told you that I can't stand your mum That I think your brother's hot and your sister's dumb I didn't say I did, so don't think I would do But if I did do, are we through What if I told you Rose is not my real name That I find your nose crooked and your joke lame What if I told you that I was in it for the money That I just can't stand it when you call me honey-bunny I didn't say I did, so don't think I would do But if I did do, would it be me and you Don't just stand there, did you hear what I just said Yell or cry, hit me hard in the head You're the one who should be angry Yet I'm the one pulling my hair So won't you just please show that you care That doesn't mean I do What if I told you I set your car on fire 'Cause you didn't react when I slashed all your tires What if I say I never went to that shrink 'Cause I solve all my problems by poisoning your drinks I didn't say I did so, don't you think I would do But since I did do... well I guess you're through Don't just lie there, did you hear what I just said Shout or cry or I'll hit you hard in the head You're the one who should be angry yet I'm the one pulling my hair So won't you just please show that you care That doesn't mean I do There's no more me and you