It Was over (Kev's Lament)

I remember back on our very first date In the back seat of me car I wanted you to go all the way But you wouldn't go that far I wanted you to hold me dick You wanted to hold me hand And when I accidentally brushed your tit I just blew it and come in me pants And it was over Before it began I'll never forget the strain and the sweat As I fumbled with your gear A hundred degrees with the windows wound up So your Mum and Dad couldn't hear Tryin' me best to unzip your dress And unhook your bra with one hand And just when I thought I was doin' all right I come in me pants again And it was over Before it began Blouses and buttons and bras and buckles And 'Stop it, I'm gettin' cold' First time I've had a tit in me mouth Since I was nine months old I had lovers' balls and you had no idea Of the pitch of me passion and pain Tryin' to stay cool with me knackers on fire I come in me pants again, oh shit and again You wouldn't give and I wouldn't go And we couldn't seem to agree You got the giggles and I got the shits Then you wouldn't talk to me And when we made up and we started again Your Dad banged on the roof and he yelled 'What are you two kids up to in there?' And I shit in me pants as well And it was over Before it began You hear people say that they'd love to go back And do things that they did in the past But if you reckon they were the real good old days You can go stick 'em right up your arse! 'Cause when I look back how I came and I went With a tear in me eye I recall How me, I had a cunt of a night But me undies had a ball And it was over Before it began