A Headache and a Heartache

You know, Clara, even though he is our own

Son, I'll be darned if I understand Willie

I try to, but-

I suppose all kids are the same

Ah, the world over

They're a headache

And a heartache

They're a great big question mark

If you think you understand them

You're whistling in the dark

Just whistling in the dark

Partly angel

Partly devil

Guess you'd call them half and half

Somewhere in between a headache

A heartache

And a laugh

A heartache

Ha ha ha, and a laugh

They bristle at advice

And balk at your suggestions

Know all the answers

Before you ask the questions

Does it occur to you

Once you were that way too?

They're a headache

And a heartache

Oh, they put you through the mill

Though you're afraid they'll never grow up

You're more afraid they will

More afraid they will

You buy yourself a hat

A stickpin or cravat

And ten to one the boy is going to razz 'em

With patronizing smile

He'll say they're out of style

But in a little while he has 'em

I suppose I should be thankful after all

At last my shoes are just a size too small

He's like a bird in flight

He's gone from morn 'til night

Just drops in now and then for you to feed him

But brains he doesn't lack

He's got his father's knack

Of disappearing when you need him

A sweeter kid you couldn't hope to meet

But you've got to take the bitter with the sweet

They're a headache

They're a heartache

Heaven only knows the cure

But after all you know you love them

You love them 'cause they're yours

After all they're yours