Lyrics
This is how I think, people
I'm a drastic thinker
I'm not worse than my lady, though, my lady
My lady is the queen of hypothetical thoughts
I feel like, you know what I feel like?
I feel like all women suffer from this disease
Women love to ask men questions about shit that will never happen
You love it
Babe, babe, what would you do if?
Babe, babe, hypothetically speaking, but not really
But if it did, what could, might be, huh?
You love it
True story right now
Me and my lady, we on a boat, right? We on a boat
We hit a wave, she go, "Oh my God, babe, what if we hit that wave
And I would have, I would have fell out the boat in the middle of the ocean
And then a shark would have started swimming around me
What would you do?"
I'ma get the camera and start taping
Some shit about to go down, I don't know
Stop being an asshole, answer the question
What do you mean answer the question? It's a shark
Like, I don't know who she wants me to be in her head
Like, what **** is that tough that he sees a shark
And goes, "I'm sick of this shark shit"
And, and jump in the water to fight the shark?
I'm not that guy, I don't have that muscle
She said, "What if the shark attacked me, but I got away
And I swam back to the boat?"
I said, "That would never happen, what kind of attack was this?"
She said, "What do you mean?"
What do you mean what I mean? What kind of attack was this?
What did the shark get?
She said, "The shark bit off one leg, one arm"
The shark bit off one leg and one arm
And you swam back to the boat, that's what you're telling me?
Was it on the same side?
'Cause if was on the same side, you're just gon' go on a circle
That's all you gon' do right here is one big ass circle
You ain't going no fucking where
Stop being an asshole, Kevin, answer the question
I can't answer the question if you don't make the question make sense
She said, "Fine, alternate the sides
He bit one leg on this side, one arm on this side"
I said, "So what, you wanna know what I would say when you got back to the boat?"
She said, "Yeah, what would you say?"
What? Well, who else is on the boat?
She said, "It's just us, it's nobody else on the boat, just us"
Okay, let me get this straight, you get attacked by the shark
Shark bite off one leg, one arm
You swim back to the boat
You climb up on the boat
You're standing in front of me on one leg
It's nobody else on the boat, nobody else
If it's nobody else on the boat
I'ma push you back in, I'ma, I'ma push you back in
Shark gotta finish that
He gotta finish that, I'm not going home with that
I didn't leave with that, why do I have to go home with that?
That's not what I left with
The shark gotta clean that plate, clean that plate, Mr. Shark
That's what my mom tell me, "Finish your food
You better finish that fucking food"
Written by: Kevin Hart
