He Never Knew The Benefits Of Caffeine

Yo, son, where you at?

Yo, son—

I keep my police scanner on all night

To keep abreast of the neighborhood's bad intentions

A rainbow of radio waves lights up my monitor

A thumping of a heartbeat echoes in the hallway

Fascination sets in, transmitted by ham radio

I'm fumbling with the dosage, I'm fumbling with scenarios

Late-night talk radio keeps me well-informed

My overnight supervisor left me forewarned

Now I'm older and wiser

I've got brand-new incisors

And I think I've got a new focus

A magic wand, Hocus Pocus, the paperback

But I was shocked to know I'm not the only one

Who knew the strange deals that were done

I was shocked to know I'm not the only one

Who knows we're headed for the sun

You see, I'm an actor on the stage, I'm crying, laughing, coughing

I don't get good roles all that often, like Nosferatu sans the coffin

I'm like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, did you see me?

I was an extra on the nine o'clock news footage of a protest at City Hall

Sometimes I hear them talk of an all-inclusive theory

That explains JFK and how it relates to nearly

Everything unexplained, the beast of revelations

Stonehenge and the Sphinx, the society of Freemasons

But I was shocked to know I'm not the only one

Who knew the strange deals that were done

I was shocked to know I'm not the only one

Who knows we're headed for the sun

As they wheel away the bodies and the handcuffs are slapped on

They explain the difference between neglect and assault

I remember Art Bell and all of his conspiracies

I forgot to change the bedpans, but I remembered that we were all doomed