Wait It Out

My mom told me to make a list

Whenever I feel down

Paint your nails to match your shirt

Put lipstick on your frown

Finish just one chapter of that

Book next to your bed

Do what needs to get done

To get out of your own head

Today the first thing on my list is

Finish up this song

I've tried to write a bunch before

It always comes out wrong

I hate to cry and whine when there's not

Much to mope about

I've got a roof over my head

Clean water from the spout

Sure I don't need to be a

Trainwreck to feel sad

It feels wrong to complain when life

Really isn't that bad

Still I find it hard to eat

Or get up and outside

The doctor asked about suicide

And frankly, I just lied

My homework's sitting in a pile

My clothes are on the floor

I'd like to sneak a boy inside

But Dad sleeps by the door

I need a place to take a nap

It's cold here on the tile

My lipstick frown is smeared

And now it looks just like a smile

My mom told me to make a list

And check off everything

My hands and eyes are just alike

They've both got lots of rings

At least I've got to plans and no one

I need to impress

Turns out making lists just makes me

Really fucking stressed

My room is hot and stuffy

And my cat's starting to wheeze

I'd open up a window

But there's ashes in the breeze

If California's burning

What's the point in suicide

I'll just wait it out

So my doctor won't know I lied