album cover
Craigslist
263
Comedy
Craigslist was released on January 19, 2010 by Comedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records as a part of the album Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening
album cover
Release DateJanuary 19, 2010
LabelComedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM

Music Video

Music Video

Lyrics

Clap if you use Craigslist
Hold on a second, I'm not talking about like
"Oh, hey, I'm looking for an apartment" Craigslist
I'm talking about "Give me a handjob, I'll give you my coffee table"
Like that kind of Craigslist, that's Craigslist
I saw a post like that once, where this guy was trying to sell concert tickets
And this is what he posted up there, he goes
"Willing to give up two tickets to the sold out show tonight
Must be female, age 20 to 25
And be willing to perform oral sex for a half hour in my car
Must remove shirt and bra, your friend can be there for security"
Now that guy's insane, and you can tell because he put that phrase in there
"Must remove shirt and bra" because that implies
He's done that in the past and the girl's like
"Hold on, you didn't say anything about my shirt and bra coming off"
And he's like, "Damn, I gotta put that in the ad next time, I wanna see some titties!"
And then he acts like he's throwing you a bone by putting that phrase in there
"Your friend can be there for security", really?
Well, that's going to be a tough favor to ask for
"Hey Denise, yeah, it's me Carol, let me ask you something
You ever done any security work before?
Well, it's nothing too crazy, but I'm gonna be blowing this guy for a half hour in his car
And I just need you to sit in the back seat and make sure he doesn't do anything sketchy
By the way, you mind holding my shirt and bra? Those will be off"
Now I went to that concert, I got tickets in advance
And I got there, and you know what I saw?
They were selling extra tickets at the door!
Selling extra tickets at the door!
Could you imagine blowing a guy for a half hour for sold out concert tickets
And then finding out they're selling them at the door?
That'd be like blowing a guy for a half hour for sold out concert tickets
And then finding out they're selling them at the door
There's no other way to complete that analogy
'Cause that's the shittiest thing that could ever happen to you
Written by: Aziz Ansari
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