Moonsickness

There's so much to do

I'll never have the wherewithal

To do it all again

Or fucking do it all at all

I love you so much

I don't wanna go but

Everybody knows this place is dying, as am I

I might not get another chance

It's such a careful dance and

I am such a fuckup if you only knew

That I am such a fuckup

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars

And I'm the worst mistake that God has ever made

You seem to integrate so fucking well

But I make lemons out of lemonade

Blood clots and death cramps

Injections and leakages

The election cycle and the tides

Aztec circles of the death of all deaths

But the beast refuses to die

In your guts you know it's all destroyed

You could've had a boy

If you had children now you think

You might just put them down

None of us belong

Everything I do is wrong

And soon there will be nobody left around

And in your blood, you know what's right

And in your bones, you know what's wrong

And in your throat, you know you're lying to kids

And you know nobody belongs in this hell

And there is not a single choice left to make

I am God's worst mistake

And you seem happy on the knife's edge

But I just lick the blade

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars

And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made

You seem to integrate so fucking well

But I make lemons out of lemonade

Blood clots, death camps

Gluts and depressions

The business cycle and the tides

Concentric circles of torture wheels

But the beast refuses to die

Atomistic rational behavior

Invisible hand savior

Fucking up your definitions even though it's life or death

Who fucking told you you were selfish

Or even self-interested?

Don't you think it matters when we with our friends the best?

And, fuck, I'm not a Marxist

I'm not a fucking democrat

Because of all this bullshit, I'm not anything at all

All I wanted was a framework

None of them can live here

There's nothing to believe in and there won't be until we fall

And it's not all you, man

You were just a kid once

God, I'm such a fuck up

If you only knew that I am such a fuck up

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars

And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made

I can't get the numbers right

I can't fucking count because not one goddamned thing is in its place

Blood clots, death camps

Gluts and depressions

The business cycle and the tides

You fuckers know it's all built on lies

But the beast refuses to die

And so I guess, well, neither can I