Moonsickness

There's so much to do I'll never have the wherewithal To do it all again Or fucking do it all at all I love you so much I don't wanna go but Everybody knows this place is dying, as am I I might not get another chance It's such a careful dance and I am such a fuckup, if you only knew That I am such a fuckup I've got 100 hours to rearrange the stars And I'm the worst mistake that God has ever made You seem to integrate so fucking well But I make lemons out of lemonade Blood clots and death cramps Injections and leakages The election cycle and the tide Aztec circles of the death of all deaths But the beast refuses to die In your guts, you know it's all destroyed You could've had a boy If you had children now, you think You might just put them down None of us belong Everything I do is wrong And soon there will be nobody left around And in your blood you know what's right And in your bones you know what's wrong And in your throat you know you're lying to kids And you know nobody belongs in this hell And there is not a single choice left to make I am God's worst mistake And you seem happy on the knife's edge But I just lick the blade I've got 100 hours to rearrange the stars And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made You seem to integrate so fucking well But I make lemons out of lemonade Blood clots, death camps Gluts and depressions The business cycle and the tide Concentric circles of torture wheels But the beast refuses to die Atomistic rational behavior Invisible hand savior Fucking up your definitions even though it's life or death Who fucking told you, you were selfish Or even self-interested Don't you think it matters when we wish our friends the best And fuck I'm not a Marxist I'm not a fucking democrat Because of all this bullshit, I'm not anything at all All I wanted was a framework None of them can live here There's nothing to believe in and there won't be until we fall And it's not all you man You were just a kid once God, I'm such a fuckup If you only knew that I am such a fuckup I've got 100 hours to rearrange the stars And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made I can't get the numbers right I can't fucking count because not one goddamned thing is in its place Blood clots, death camps Gluts and depressions The business cycle and the tide You fuckers know it's all built on lies But the beast refuses to die And so I guess well neither can I