album cover
Turkey Teeth
8
Alternative
Turkey Teeth was released on November 7, 2025 by Cynical Thrills as a part of the album Rastrophiliopustrocity Pomposity
album cover
Release DateNovember 7, 2025
LabelCynical Thrills
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM199

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
The Humdrum Express
The Humdrum Express
Performer
Ian Passey
Ian Passey
Lead Vocals
Carl Bayliss
Carl Bayliss
Drums
Andrew Boswell
Andrew Boswell
Electric Bass Guitar
Rich Payne
Rich Payne
Electric Guitar
Brendan Moran
Brendan Moran
Electric Guitar
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Ian Passey
Ian Passey
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Mick Lown
Mick Lown
Producer

Lyrics

Well, the airport décor's dated, in need of restyling
There's a sombre look from those in the queue, as if they're scared of smiling
Even early morning pre flight booze can't provide relief
As they board the flight to Istanbul - to get their Turkey teeth
On a cut-price crowns charter to foreign lands
Clutching photographs of Rylan in their hands
The Tik Tok trending peer pressure for crooked corrective cosmetics
Inspires demand for the biggest, brightest dental prosthetics
A Hollywood smile at a discount price seems like money well spent
Because a Hollywood smile is just what you need when you live in Stoke-on-Trent!
On a cut-price crowns charter to foreign lands
Clutching photographs of Rylan in their hands
Give Us A Smile! Pearly White!
Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!
Give Us A Smile! Pearly White!
Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!
They've all booked serious over sizing, bigger than they need
Their incisors shaved into points and, boy, it's gonna bleed!
Dining on soup for the next six weeks, drinking through straws
They're not helping themselves if they want to lose their playground nickname 'Jaws'
 
On a cut-price crowns charter to foreign lands
Clutching photographs of Rylan in their hands
The procedure didn't go to plan, catastrophic complications
An agonising abscess necessitates need for root canal operations
Unbearable pain, sensitive nerves, flying home in tears
While the NHS are left to pick up the pieces from your bargain bin veneers
On a cut-price crowns charter from foreign lands
Clutching compensation claim forms in their hands
Give Us A Smile! Pearly White!
Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!
Give Us A Smile! Pearly White!
Give Us A Smile! Ultra Bright!
Written by: Ian Robert Passey
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