15

School starts up again in about a week Picked up my books from the library Head full with romance and fantasy Could it be me? Caught eyes of one of the older guys Ain't that the dream? Yeah I'm told it's nice It might be love if I play it right And I can think of 15 reasons why he Would wanna get to know me But daddy said "There's only one" And it's hard times in times like these I want someone I can please Just let me make believe I'll give him everything And I did And he wasn't even grateful Always treated me like a goddamn plateful He's un-phased making me unstable I took off all of my clothes I cried the whole way home Still smiled at my mother What she don't know won't hurt her He showed me love led to damage How can everybody stand it? He brought me to my knees It's hard times in times like these I live alone in a haunted house I turned the mirrors all around Can't stand to face what he made me now And what's no longer Turned my wide eyes to bloody tears Missed out on Christmas and family cheer I can't recall my birthday that year But I remember 15 ways I said "No" Asked him to let me go I know it's all his fault Why do I feel so wrong? It's hard times in times like these I wake choking on my screams Then I tuck them in the drawer He coulda taken more than he did So I outta be grateful Wouldn't ever think about it if I were able He's unscathed while I'm unstable Flipping all these goddamn tables Hopeless cause he'll never know his own betrayals I threw up on my way home Left my shoes on his road Still smiled at my mother What she don't know won't hurt her Held my girlhood door He slammed it Took years to understand it Still brings me to my knees It's hard times in times like these He's picking fights and locks and forget me nots And I'm counting to ten in a parking lot I left myself in a lost and found box Maybe in the summer I can brush the dust off Ticking slows, am I a ghost? He said "This is how it goes" All I ever wanted was the prove I'm worthy Such a high price for the way he hurt me Couldn't ever understand Am I really that pretty when I'm deadpan? I curse your name when my lovers reach out There's one thing I can't talk about It hurts again, can't call my friends They rolled their eyes Said I shoulda known better I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever Gaslight myself under circumstance "Did I make it all up? Was it really that bad?" I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever I can't live like this forever