Jazz - David Crowe: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

Jazz

9

Standup Comedy

Jazz was released on April 28, 2017 by Comedy Dynamics, A Nacelle Company as a part of the album White Bread

Song Details

AlbumWhite Bread

Release DateApril 28, 2017

LabelComedy Dynamics, A Nacelle Company

LanguageEnglish

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS

David Crowe

Performer

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

David Crowe

Songwriter

PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING

Jeffrey Harmon

Producer

Liz Ellis

Producer

Lyrics

Here's what really annoys me is I don't know anything about cars

So I can't even have a good debate

I didn't take auto shop

I took band

Yeah, I know, you too?

Yeah, I played trombone for years

Got really good at it only to find out

No matter how good you are at trombone

Never really comes in handy later in life, alright?

I can't whip my trombone out around a campfire when I'm 57

Anyone for a little Satin Doll?

Three years, first chair, let's rock

I don't know what you did with your youth

I spent most of mine in my parents' basement going

My mom would stick her head in

"Dave, there's girls outside, you should go meet one"

That's okay, mom, I master this

They'll come to me

No they won't, actually, no they won't

That's what else I learned

Trombone not meant for romance

One, it's got a spit valve, okay?

If you want to learn an instrument to romance somebody

Don't get one that hocks up its own goober every ten minutes

That'll spoil every magical moment you manage

To conjure with your talent, your gift

Hang on, honey, one more song

Where you going?

And I'm not saying I didn't have a good time in band

I loved band, a big influence on my life

I had a great jazz teacher and I still listen to jazz

Love jazz, love it

And I credit my jazz teacher

And real jazz too, by the way

Not smooth jazz

I don't know whose idea that was

But not everything is better smooth, okay?

Diarrhea, that's smooth

No one's happy about that smoothie, right?

No one's, "Oh, it's easy listening today, good"

Right? Jazz is art

Art hurts a little sometimes, you know?

Art is sometimes a struggle

That's why Miles Davis played with a plunger on occasion

'Cause he had some stuff to work out

He didn't just low note his music all over the room

That's so easy to hear

Okay, I'm relating to like me and two other people in the room

It's kind of funny though

A while back I was working with a black comic

And he heard me talk about jazz on stage

And in the green room afterwards he sits down and says

"You know, I don't know if you know the history of jazz

But black people, we actually brought jazz to this country

What happened is we brought the African rhythms and gospel

And turned that into rhythm and blues

And that evolved into jazz and rock and roll

And really the whole American songbook is based on that contribution

And without it this country wouldn't have the music it is so proud of"

And I thought, "I did not know that"

And I was kind of jealous

That was the other surprise, I felt jealous

Not of the music

I was jealous of how comfortable he

Was just plunking down in front of me

And bragging about stuff his people did

Yeah, 'cause as a white guy I would feel sheepish about doing that

I didn't know how to

It's not like I'm gonna go, "Oh, that's great

We brought some stuff too

We brought golf and Santa and ham and pants

And chemical engineering and guns

Space exploration and the crock pot and the Swiffer

And bowling, pretty sure that was ours

Curling, definitely ours

We brought the Constitution

We kind of brought the whole idea of this country to this country

We brought, I don't know how you tell you this

We brought black people to this country, so

You know, in a way we brought jazz and rock and roll

I mean we drove the limo, I mean if you think of it that way

Yeah, that's gonna be awkward

So, but I digress

I don't know anything about cars

If my car breaks down all I can do is listen to jazz until AAA comes

Or maybe take the radiator hose and play something to myself

Written by: David Crowe

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