I made it through the grocery store Didn’t cry in aisle three I smiled at the cashier Like nothin’s wrong with me I thought maybe I was gettin’ better Thought maybe I’d turned a page Then I heard your name from someone else And I slipped right off the edge It’s never the big things It’s never the last goodbye It’s the ordinary seconds That catch me by surprise It’s three steps forward Ten steps back One deep breath Then I crack I’m doin’ fine till I’m not okay All it takes is a smell a song a face I’m stronger than I was last week But weaker than I was this mornin’ Yeah I’m learnin’ how to stand again But grief keeps movin’ the floor when I’m on it I folded laundry without breakin’ Watched the sky turn pink Then I found your old T shirt And forgot how to breathe I hate how fast it takes me From solid to undone How a quiet little moment Can erase all the progress I’ve won They don’t see this part They just see me still standin’ They don’t feel the whiplash Between livin’ and rememberin’ It’s three steps forward Ten steps back I tell myself I’ll handle that I’m okay until the past walks in And sits right down like it never left I’m proud of how far I’ve come But I’m tired of pretendin’ That survivin’ you Is a straight line to the end Some days I carry you gently Some days you carry me Some days I almost forget Then grief reminds me That love don’t disappear It just changes shape And I’m still learnin’ How much weight I can take It’s three steps forward Ten steps back Still losin’ ground I thought I had I’m not weak I’m just human Still missin’ what I can’t get back If healin’ means fallin’ sometimes Then I guess I’m doin’ it right I’m still here even when I slide Even when I lose the fight I didn’t fail I just remembered And tomorrow I’ll try again