Up Here In the North of England

Travelling overseas I was accosted by a student

Who asked me where I came from, she was pretty

Children don't put smack in your veins

Lennon cut his teeth here

And the party-pooping left wing

Wouldn't play the Tories' game

We're always in the market for an off-beat love affair

With a foreign delegation condescending for a share

Of a pressure cooker spouting steam

That threatens to unload

With a power so formidable

The Russian bear is in the woods somewhere

Television comedians united in approval

The drama that confronts you with real people in real times

I'm only in a band because I failed my own audition

You have to see somebody suffer other than yourself

Right now we're in a jam

We'll call you back when we get straight

'Cause Townsend's coming round

He understands, he won't be late

There's lots of food for thought

But not a great deal on our plate

The southerners don't like us

Who can blame 'em seems we're always in the spotlight

We're always in the market for an off-beat love affair

Heseltine came up now trees are sprouting everywhere

McDonalds finally found us and we're folklore in Turin

We used to pull the ships in

Now we're goin' down

Look at the state we're in