Lonesome Organist Rapes Page-Turner

He told me that I knew just what to laugh at

And I wanted to, but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back

So I could know for certain

So on the bench I watched his left-hand crossing

While doubling entendres with the voicings

He said, "Oh darling, you're charming, please, don't find it alarming

If I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting"

Now there, there

I'm a friendly man

I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened

Ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha

So silently I sat and turned the pages

Recalculating our respective ages

Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older

You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects, no, I'm kidding"

Don't be scared

I'm a friendly man

I joke about death because it's funny when you're frightened

Ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha

This is as far as I could get he jabbed a needle in my neck

Erasing all the evidence, but there were matchsticks in my pants

And if a rock should hit my head, and I remember what he did

You'll be the very first to know

Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding, ow!

He told me that I showed a great potential

That given I turned heads and pages, fame would be a piece of cake, but

Practice was essential

So like a stupid child, I believed it

And Golly who would ever had agreed if

I had been Schubert or Mozart

Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

Don't be sad, I'll come back again

I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be enlightened

Ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha

So several decades have gone by

I am still sitting by his side

I turn the pages faithfully

He turns his head and smiles at me

And with a wink he says, "I doubt

We would be anywhere without

Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting," ow!