My mother said I never should

Play with the young men in the wood

If I did, she would say

'Naughty little girl to disobey!'

Stop it!

I'm a typically English rosebud

Born of typically English stock

With a typically Anglo-Saxon family tree

You can tell, can't you?

I received my education

In a typically English way

At a typically English girls' academy

I went to Brixton Reformatory for Boys meself

I play typically English tennis

At a typically English club

With a typically English feeling for fair play

I eat typically English crumpets

With my typically English tea

At the end of every typically English day

That's funny! We only had fish and chips

Father is a typically English colonel

Home is a typically English county town

Somewhere near Swindon

Mummy and I play typically English patience

While the typically English rain is pouring down

We've a typically English spaniel

Who likes typically English walks

Past the typically English trees upon the heath

And if anyone asks me how I like

This typically English life

I am fed up to my typically English teeth

My mother said I never should

Play with the girlies in the wood

If I did, she would say

They'll only end up in the family way

When I go to typically English dances

Mother gives me typically sound advice:

How to cope with typically coarse advances

But I'm bound to confess I find them rather nice!

Stay there

In the typically English summer

We take typically English trips

To a typically seaside place with Auntie Maude;

And if anyone asks me how I like

This typically English life

I have never been so - Pygmalion bored!

And if anyone asks me how I like

This typically English life

I have never been ...

Here is a special announcement. There was an accident in a bedsitting-room off the Brompton Road late last night when a seventeen-year old girl was involved in a head-on collision with a twenty-five year old tea boy, and received injuries from which her typically English family may never recover. Will anyone who saw the

Accident, or can give any information, please keep it to themselves?

When a typically English rosebud

Is in typically English bloom

And her typically English petals open wide

Then her typically English perfume

Reaches typically English bees

And what follows is really most undignified!

My mother said I never should

Play with the girlies in the wood

If I did, she would say

They'll only end up in a most undignified

Somewhat magnified

Slightly stupefied

Maybe multiplied

Quite unqualified

None too sanctified

Highly satisfied way