Oh Dear Mother

I called 'round last night my best girl to see

Felt in such a plight when she sat on my knee

Oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, we shared the same chair too

She clung to me both hard and fast

And thought her chance had come at last

But oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, a wasp down her neck flew

It settled somewhere I could tell

She told me where it was as well

But oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

At her christening once I felt far from bold

When they gave to me the baby boy to hold

Oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, I wore my best suit too

They sprinkled water on his hair

There was water, water everywhere

But oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, an old woman who lived in a shoe

I called to see her kids galore

She said she'd room for a couple more

But oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, when in a bed with flu

A young girl felt my pulse, good Lord

My temperature rose more and more

And oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, while bathing in the blue

Some girls when I came out undressed

Took snapshots of my family crest

And oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do

Oh! Dear mother, well, I didn't know what to do