Fig Jam

I woke up this morning, but I didn't wake 'Til the afternoon, because I slept in late With a great mental state and a date with destiny I'll roll down the block without a copper even stressin' me Let alone arrestin' me or giving me a ticket It's coming into summer and the weather's fucking wicked So, I figured I'd be hitting the beach Look at skinny-dipper's titties and get something to eat After half a pound of chips and a flounder burger I'm sitting on my arse like a council worker Reminiscing about being pissed off about My house burning down to the ground and being out on my arse Before my change of fortune Now I score tunes, don't get up before noon So your mama's on the head of my knob And it's better than heading to my dead-end job Because the boss was a cock head when I was a clerk So I clocked him - and now I don't work It's a beautiful day, and I could use a cliché, 'cause "I am the greatest!" like Cassius Clay I got the world at my feet, and my toe jam's nasty (FIGJAM!) Fuck I'm good, just ask me I couldn't give a shit about your corporate hierarchy (FIGJAM!) Fuck I'm good, just ask me (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man) (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man) (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man) (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man) I rock around in track-and-thongs Fucked off a bucket-bong If you don't like it, you can come suck a long dick 'Cause I'm Brit pop, all the way to hip hop I get so plastered, you'd think I'm drinking gyp rock But I'm shit-hot, no matter how you look at it And my lyrics make you wanna read the book-a-let Don't - 'cause I'm cooking it like the Iron Chef! That's why I'm deaf, up to the higher clef (FIGJAM!) The rhymes are fat like Chief Wiggum and in fact I never lack it's like a magic pack of Tim Tams Weatherduck snobs and you sucking on a give-a-damn So good on the cut, they should call me Edward Scissorhands So give a hand for me and my associates (you suck!) Well, that's just inappropriate Smoke me a kipper, bitch I'm from the Ipswich Side of town, don't forget to write it down (Westside!) What the fuck, it ain't gangster rap! Think you're tougher, then you probably suffer wanker's cramp And I'll thank you to fuck right off Professional fuckwits, take one night off I'm Evil Eddie with a rock-steady microphone mastery (FIGJAM!) Fuck I'm good, just ask me As a concept, the intellect can't grasp me (FIGJAM!) Fuck I'm good, just ask me (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!) (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!) (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!) (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!) I got the strong profile, without the help of rhinoplasty (FIGJAM!) Fuck I'm good, just ask me Kicking arse in the cha, but you can't class me (FIGJAM!) Fuck I'm good, just ask me You just had a threesome with your mama and your aunty (FIGJAM!) Fuck I'm good, just ask me And they're coming back this arvo for the bukkake party (FIGJAM!) My dick is bigger than a wigwam! And you can see my peepee three feet above a teepee If you are getting very sleepy, wake up! (These cunts need a shake-up) I'm a jet-setter, go-getter, but I got a vendetta Just got a death threat over the phone, better Go lay low, underground like a bilby (FIGJAM!) Chill man, people wanna kill me! But I don't let that bullshit sweat me I'm at your mama's if you wanna come and get me You shady fuck, I may be stuck In a crazy situation but I'm favoured by Lady Luck You wanna stop me? You'd wanna do it properly! (Blam! Blam!) Ah fuck! Somebody shot me!