Classic Male Pregame

What's up, y'all? It's your boy LD A.K.A. The Original Pancake I'm going the fuck out tonight Off work, 'bout to get trashed Me and my crew all about to get ass Sam coming through with a bottle of the Cap Me and Dean 'bout to tube, Mark taking out the trash Clean up my room, bitches 'bout to peep that Peeing, getting groomed, bitches 'bout to eat that Dean shave my neck, thanks, man, I need that Read through my text, then I itch my kneecap Now I gotta play the game right with Liz Top prospect, met the other night through Tinder Eight o'clock so I think it's only right I hit her With a "what you got on tap for the night?", delivered While I wait Imma pick a shirt Ain't nobody wearing plaid so I claim it first Mark got a little sad cause his favorite shirt's plaid but fuck him He knows I back off in a reverse Now I'm taking a shot and we drinking and popping a bottle And thinking of all the bitches we gon' haul in Sam say I know a house party and it's popping Bet Imma cop some weird head, Dennis Rodman Oh, yeah, we plotting This is a pregame It's a pregame A classic male pregame Not a weekday So this is when we take Shots and we chasing alternate DJs And that we pray cause And we all get drunk And we get dressed up And we all buy gum And we all gon' fuck Aye, pour me another shot, God damn it I'm tryna get to a place where I can talk to these bitches I got seven shots in me, three condoms on me and immeasurable hope Ten O Clock, words getting slurred Another shot, Sam's tryna hurry Mark's not, says he isn't worried He ain't tryna spend hella bread at the clurb Call him out, "since when you using clurb, faggot" Mark pouts, something like a herb rabbit Dean smiles, we been doing work Pretty turnt, think he blacked out Lil Dicky burp loud Peep phone, what the fuck, she ain't text back Pretty close to considering a text back Spilling Coke on my shirt that's a red flag Now I gotta change, Mark knows put his best plaid on We debating the top ten in the NBA Disagreeing alot about Lamarcus A Shawshank Redemption popped on, attention all on Sam was like, "nah, the party called off" I already got a Lyft, I'm going out to a bar Then Mark pulled out a spliff, temptation very hard You know I couldn't resist, we blazing, now the car here And we get fucked up And we all feel rushed And our plans fall through And we in bad moods Man, what time is it? 12: 24? And the bars close at 2, lights on like 1: 30 Let me just think for like a second Sam like, "we gotta go, cause the car here" Mark like, "I don't know, what's the bar deal?" Dean like, "I'm on a roll in Guitar Hero" Dicky looking like he about to choke on his lamb gyro Sam looking let down, 'bout to go berserk Mark put his sweats on, now he rolling purp Dean blacked out, he ain't even on the earth I was like, "Sam, I was with it with my other shirt" Sam bounced, he's like, "fuck it, I'm out" Me and Mark smoke a blunt, Dean stuck on the ground Text Liz, "what the fuck?", even snuck in a frown I get the spins high and drunk, I throw up in the shower Now I'm jerking off inside a condom (I do that) I text my ex say, "I miss you often" (true that) Sam back, it's not even one yet, he a dumb mess He about to be a problem I ain't even tripping, I'm Tindering All of a sudden I'm blinking, I'm squinting It's saying it's six in the morning I'm stinking, I'm still in the same shit from last night Got a text from Mark saying: "I ain't mad, but I know you'll clean the bath, right?" And we get too drunk And we don't have fun Then we eat too much And the next day sucks Like, we really just wake up and spend far too much time shitting So, the whole process just seems flawed Thank you for your time