In the Clouds

I been on that denial Ever since I was a wee child Did my best to shield my ego No script so I freestyled No clue what to do so I shot from the hip Wounded pretty early so I walked with a limp Poker face due to the cards I was dealt Didn't wanna be soft so I fabricated how I felt Honesty seemed weak to me Fake it to ya make it what they preached to me Whether through they actions or verbally It was clear to see, I couldn't be me I been in the clouds I been in the clouds for a long time And I don't want to come back down Maybe I can float over all this pain All this pain, all this pain Maybe I can float over all this pain All this pain, baby all this pain I just want to float over all this pain So I tried to shove my pain down Insecure with a fake smile Did my best to impress them Wanted so bad to be accepted (Rejection) Maybe if I make some racket, McEnroe Tennis shoes brand name up my fashion yo Seem to capture some attention when my jacket dope But that only last as long as a cloud of smoke So I started gettin' high so I could stay in the clouds Above the rain ain't no shame when you can't feel it now To maintain this state of mind gotta up what I down So am I really up or down? I just woke up on the ground? I been in the clouds I been in the clouds for a long time And I don't want to come back down Maybe I can float over all this pain All this pain, all this pain Maybe I can float over all this pain All this pain, baby all this pain I just want to float over all this pain As far back as I remember I was searchin' for something See something deep in my person it wasn't right I was hurtin' I couldn't put my finger on it see uh I was just a child So I started chasin' anything that would catch me a smile But every effort I made left me empty and hopeless I couldn't manage the pain so I made it vanish like hocus pocus But the magic found in liquor, and the magic found in drugs Plus those promiscuous nights it wasn't addin' up