Introvection

I've stayed awake Through the night Until mourning comes Is there a shadow watching me Sitting in wait for me to sleep? There's sickness in my head And sickness in my heart I know what must be said But I don't know where to start The voice that plagues my mind is not the only one 'Cause I still hear you calling out For me to wait Always the same Am I the only one who's desperate for a way out? From the lie that's true in time From the night that comes alive From the feeling that there's no more to Say, it's my life to pay, cast me astray I've stayed awake Through the night Until mourning comes This life is smothering me The fire that's inside me wanes and withers The impulses that guide me beg for a way out The drive that once defined me shakes and shivers This lie is all that's left to light this dark surround There was fire in your eyes A sense of hope and boundless wonder And though you were afraid at night You knew the mourning sun Would bring you home again I'd give anything to make amends I'd trade you for this life I'd give anything to feel afraid But instead I'm passing time Knowing one day I'll be free again Knowing one day I'll mean more than this Knowing I've done all I could have done I'd turn back time To keep you alive Your absence still weighs on my mind I'd turn back time To keep you alive This life was not meant for me