Right or Wrong

Getting high just to balance lows Hands shaking loading talons in a calico A new feeling I'll get numb to it, I suppose Then out the door And pray to God we make it back home Right or wrong Today's agenda is to make it out And do it loud There's no adventure in the safer route My bank account's got me starving So I'm staking out That was my reason But trust me dawg, this was like my third time trying vegan But I'm scheming, fiending for some tinder Creeping, I'm driving slow Eyes peeping behind this window And if I seem em, I'mma get em Caught em serving his last to a junky Perfect timing, no drugs, I just wanted the re-up money And his jewelry so I can pawn it I did my thing and skirt off easily like a harlot And if we're honest I can't look into the mirror, but if I'd weighed me on the scale It's probably lesser than the bills that's been piled up in the mail Becoming somewhat of a shell of my past being My heart and mind disagreeing At nights I've been hardly sleeping Then it riddles me This is how I stay alive or my demise? Karma's gonna catch up to me? This the way I must survive? Getting high just to balance lows Hands shaking loading talons in a calico A new feeling I'll get numb to it, I suppose Then out the door And pray to God we make it back home Right or wrong Think of the loss and pour a beer out Close my eyes and squeeze a tear out Then open up cuz I can't let this fear out Facing the the rough, it's like my cheeks whenever I grow my beard out Stressing got me wanting to pull my hair out But on the outside I'm calm Knowing I'm not the only one hiding in a plain sight Getting by with his charm Performing flawless with no stage freight Wondering what they riddle me as Asking others if they're fine when I need to be asked I needed me that Life that Nas talked about on tracks with Lauryn That I dream about at night to wake up to this hell in morning But If I'd ruled the world, I'd be dead by the weekend I wasn't supposed to grow my seed was planted in the cement But don't judge my killer, blame his demons And the fact that on that day I presented everything that he needed Caught him on the deep end Drowning in his sorrows Tryna stay afloat til tomorrow Getting high just to balance lows Hands shaking loading talons in a calico A new feeling I'll get numb to it, I suppose Then out the door And pray to God we make it back home Right or wrong