The Bang Bang Theory

I got a thing Got a new thing To make the closing bell ring If you can find me a loophole Now I'm just doing what needs to be done To keep us in the big chair So check out the bang bang theory The bang bang theory Which says: the more guns there are The safer it is to walk the streets (the safer it is) And I don't know no red-blooded white man Who don't wanna walk that walk (the safer it is) We don't need no stetsons or boot-cut jeans 'Cause we'll be giving away handguns to all the tots and teens That's the bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President) In a nutshell (so good Mr. President) The bang bang theory (good Mr. President) In a full metal jacket (so good) I been busy on the Batphone Ordering a headstone To bury America's poor And drag Robert E Lee Into the 21st century because... We're gonna make it mandatory to own a shotgun Or maybe four 'Cause we're about cutting through all the bullshit That's what bang bang bangs are for Have we gone too far? (No Mr. President) Or not far enough? (No Mr. President) Have we gone too far? (No Mr. President) Or not far enough? (I don't know Mr. President) Have we gone too far? (No Mr. President) Or not far enough? (No Mr. President) Have we gone too far? (I don't know) It's people who kill people (people) It's people who kill people (people) It's people who kill people Not guns! How you gonna get the country On your side? Oh television You need to get the country On your side I got a great new show It's kinda like the Apprentice It offers folks the chance to plan a massacre And pitch it to a panel of cops and spooks And a rehabilitated terrorist group And the winner gets a chance to shoot the show Under controlled conditions (bang bang) Using volunteer targets who were killing themselves anyway (bang bang) (Oh my God) Are you praying? (Oh my God) To me? The cost of making this must be low But the body count must be high (agreed) And there has to be some kind of moral victory And merchandise to buy (agreed) (It's gotta make commercial sense) (It's gotta make commercial sense) keep talkin' (But it's got to have a heart too) (And I'm damned if I can see the heart) (Mr. President please) (Listen to yourself) Oh I do And you should too And leave your bleeding hearts at home 'Cause if I can't get a wall I want a Mexican wave Lined up in the bang bang zone I want outrage (outrage) And rampage (rampage) And American hearts pumping like a twelve gauge You better hold the front page For the bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President) In a nutshell (so good Mr. President) It's the bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President) In detail (so good Mr. President) The bang bang theory (it's good Mr. President) I want his head on a plate (good Mr. President) The bang bang theory (good Mr. President) And mine on Rushmore (oh God)