Why Women Need Wine

When I woke up this morning I tested all of the Christmas lights (Tell-me) Why when one burns out the rest go out on down the line Oh and I swear I got no idea where the replacement bulbs are hiding One more thing I'm never gonna find Is why women need wine Way back in September I made a list and stuck it on the fridge I thought I'd start writing down ideas keep track of things for the kids And the mailman, teachers, neighbors, in-laws, cousins, and friends of mine Mom and Dad and the cat and canine Is why women need wine After half a glass I feel divine It's all peace on earth good will towards men White Christmas and a silent night I'm gonna find the perfect thing, locally, not online It's the most wonderful time Is why women need wine Santa, Do you hear what I hear? Let me get this through my mind You're just gonna let everybody thank you for all the stuff I go out and find Like some freeloading old white guy taking all the credit all the time No wonder your'e so jolly Is why women need wine Yeah they say that Santa's coming but only if I'm bein' nice But if you're watching me when I sleep and creeping in at night You know you're gonna pay the price See I'm never gonna kiss you Santa, and it's not just cause you smoke a pipe OH, and the cookies are mine all mine Is why women need wine Now listen up advertisers you know you really ought to resign Cause big girls don't want rings or keys to cars or platinum mines She don't want things got strings attached or checks Santa Baby signs If she wants it she'll use her own dime Is why women need wine After half a glass I feel divine It's all peace on earth good will towards men White Christmas and a silent night I'm gonna find the perfect thing, locally, not online It's the most wonderful time Is why women need wine Santa let me apologize, you know I really do believe I just love to tease the ones I love and you know I love the stuff you leave But don't forget to thank all us Ms. Clauses making spirits bright We make a good team Santa, cheers Is why women need wine After half a glass I feel divine It's all peace on earth good will towards men White Christmas and a silent night I'm gonna find the perfect thing, locally, not online It's the most wonderful time Is why women need wine