Black Rainbow

The black rainbow drags me to the surface Where was I What was I doing I may never know But each time I get too close It spits me out again Sisyphus drowning in a kiddie pool I know why I'm here I'm trying to test my limits I'm trying to see what feels right I'm trying to transform Will my voice sound like this next time we meet? Will I make it past the black rainbow? My dreams since I was 10 have been the same Only now am I seeing They are connected to the part of the same world That makes up me Where do I hold my fear? I can feel it when I close my eyes But when I'm awake it obliterates me But the black rainbow doesn't disappear It's not about destruction It's about acceptance If I can't accept the black rainbow Then what am I even left with Measuring things measuring feelings How do we become one with our reality Knowing the present will become the past And that everyday life is a treasure Even if the moment Might go bad A gentle thought I'm getting distracted And I'm back at the pool Waiting for the rainbow to appear Who am I even talking to Who am I even Uncomfortable That's who I am Disconnected Feeling small Don't notice at all Myself in the mirror is just a physical reflection Negative space is just another dimension