Medicine Bottle

Giving into love and sharing my time Letting someone into my misery I told it all step by step How I landed on the island And how I swim across the sea And it crosses my mind That I may awake to a knife in me No more breath in my hair, or ladies underwear Tossed up over the alarm clock Blood dripping from the bed to a neatly written poem A heartfelt last line reading There is no more mystery Is it gonna happen, my love? There is no more mystery Is it gonna happen, my love? It's all in my head, she said, "Morning after nightmare "You're building a wall," she said, "higher than the both of us "So try living life, instead of hiding in the bedroom "Show me a smile, and I'll promise not to leave you" It happened under a rainy cloud Passing through the dark South We went into a big house, and slept in a small bed I didn't know you then As well as you of me We talked of our sad lives And we went off separately And we went off separately I found your overseas souvenirs Holiday greeting cards Those long forgotten high school fears "It's all in my head," I said, banging a piano "I've not been so alone," I thought, "since kicking in the womb" I drank so much tea, I wrote my letters in Kanji Around the block, I walked and walked Pretending you were with me Not wanting to die out here Without you The hurting never ends Like birthdays and old friends We forget that this flesh, blood, and bone is human Trading phone lines to airlines Unwilling to face that love is found on the inside, not the outside And like a medicine bottle in the cabinet, I'll keep you And like a medicine bottle in my hand, I will hold you And swallow you slowly, as to last me a lifetime Without holding too tight I do not want to lose the thrill that it gives me To look out from my window and scowl at the houses From my world in the bedroom "It's all in his head", she read in her girlfriend's self-help book "It's all his own making; a war with himself "Like two sides of a wall that separates two countries "He shuts out the world he once knew to love you" Not wanting to die out here Without you Not wanting to die out here Without you