Nurture

And on my fourth birthday, looking like a photograph We would all forget about and only discover later on With all the newspapers, piled up like epitaphs For the man you never knew But hold onto like a silver swan And in the forest that I created in my head I was a warrior at home in the wild My bones were big and strong They'd never get me like they did in real life If I could just get bigger and better Could you stay a little longer, please? Could you stay a little longer, please? And in the lamplight, swaddled like a baby tight I read a hundred pages to get lost each night I made a skin out of the Brothers Grimm Made a magic box to hide the shouting in 'Casue you were busy biting at each other's heels In an angry fog that never seemed to clear But it's ok, 'cause I did pretty well anyway And you're proud But could you stay a little longer, please? Could you stay a little longer, please? And now I'm fifteen, falling on my skinny knees Telling her, "I'm sorry, please You know I love you more than anyone" But I must've got the message wrong 'Casue the more I tried the more I came undone And she was clever Knew just how to build you up And then chip away 'til you went wrong Could you stay a little longer, please? Could you stay a little longer, please? Could you stay a little longer, please? Could you stay a little longer, please? And then at 23, I asked someone to follow me Into a cacophony of all of the things I'd fled And he was ready Gave me every part of him But my ribs were breaking with the weight of it And so I left So well rehearsed at leaving beds by then And now I'm all grown, moving to a new home With a man my heart holds dearer than anyone And I'm a mess So sure I'm gonna love him less with every step 'Cause that's all that I've come to expect But as the months pass, I'm surprised to feel my heart Getting bigger and better at last