Nauseating Despair

There are no beginnings Just days tacked onto days Without rhyme or reason Monotonous assemblies of occurrences My thoughts come crashing inward My surroundings change while I remain motionless Not feeling the steps this body has taken Exhausting, pervasive, overpowering Spreading from the edge like an oil stain Horrified by my own existence You grasp at the veil A layer rolls back and you're met with just an existent Independent of space and time One cannot seize it For it is always just beyond Reaching, groveling Searching for the ideal unity of infinity You never truly find yourself Never finding yourself Only the nausea